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Welcome to the Official Website of the Columbia Chaos Hockey Club, and their 'Farm Team' the Goats, located in sunny Columbia, South Carolina.

Goats Ironman A Team-(l-r) Joe Sonatore, Ryan Petz, Vance Arndt,Kristian 'G-Miz' Niemi, Kevin Robinson, Dennis Alexander, Loren Dell'oso

May 18, 2008 Columbia, SC

After two days and seven hard-fought games, the Goats took their first Ironman A Tournament Championship. With a top-notch line-up of talent, the Goats defeated a talented and extremely hung-over Florence team 8-3 in the final.

The weekend didn't start out well, as the Goats got their asses handed to them in first game 0-6 against the same Florence team. "I think it was simply a matter of developing some team chemistry. Oh yeah, waking up and not allowing them to break in alone whenever they wanted certainly helped. The 'waking up' part was definitely the biggest key", said a worn out G-Miz after the last game. In the very next game, the Goats tied the Florence team 5-5 and definitely began to come together as a team.

After steamrolling the Cyclones and the Lucky Bananas, the Goats were in the finals. However, just prior to the Championship game, they were upset by the Bananas 3-4 after they gave up two goals to penalty shots and continued to be mesmerized by Banana's goalie John Fisher wearing new gear that isn't made for street hockey.

The final game was an exciting two-way game, but the offensive power of Petz, Dell'oso and Sonotore combined with the stifling defense of Alexander, Arndt and Robinson proved to be too much for Florence to handle. Niemi basically just had to stand there and not let too many pucks go by him, which he managed to do.

The nation's largest and most awarded micro-brewery inked a deal to become the major beer sponsor of the Columbia Chaos last week. Kristian 'G-Miz', the dashing and debonair chief of operations for the classiest hockey team in Columbia says the contract will encompass the entire 2008 season and could end up being a long-term deal.

Jim Koch, owner of Samuel Adams, says "This could be one of the most important deals we've ever done. To be associated with a first-class organization like the Chaos has been a dream of mine since I was brewing beer in my basement. I just hope we can brew enough beer to keep up with these guys."

In other Chaos news, Jeff Bennett has been named West Coast Director of Hockey Operations. Jeff will be in charge of all Chaos and Goats operations in the Pacific Northwest and will operate out of the Chaos office in Seattle, WA.

Charleston Tournament Roster (left to right, front row) Captain Rick Migliore, Ed Schaal, Vince Pace (back row) Patrick Wall, Kristian Niemi, Dave Mikolaczak, Mike Greely, Mike Bruckman, Glenn O'Neill

By drawing the two teams loaded with the most 'ringers' in the first round of play, the Columbia Chaos were doomed from the start of the Charleston Spring C Tournament. Playing a stacked Greensboro team and the B level Ft. Bragg Dragons put the Chaos at 1-2 in the first round. Even thought they fielded a strong and talented team, they couldn't move on to the playoffs with that record. Had they drawn ANY of the other teams in the tournament, they would have definitely challenged for the championship. With Chaos rookies, Mike and Mike, along with the battle hardened old vets, the Chaos looked to be the best team in Charleston.

The organization has been assured by Charleston organizers that the stacked teams will not be welcome back. The Chaos will. Better. Faster. Stronger. We have the technology.

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GDI, the world leader in goaltender development, has assigned its Southeast District coach, Ryan Honick, to the Chaos/Goats organization. Honick is tasked with bringing Chaos/Goats goaltender Kristian "G-Miz" Niemi into the 21st century of goaltending techniques.

"Basically, I've been asked to teach a pig to fly", said an exasperated Honick after spending an hour on the ice with Niemi. "This 'goalie', if you will, is still living in the age of the kick-save. I'm amazed he even wears a mask."

Honick is the goaltending coach for the ECHL Columbia Inferno (Toronto Maple Leafs/Marlies affiliate). He is paid with beer.

Columbia Chaos Treks to the Great White North for the Labatt Blue Pond Hockey Championships

The game of hockey has come a long way. Most kids playing the game today have no idea what it was like to grow up skating outdoors, but the Labatt Blue - USA Hockey Pond Hockey Championships in Eagle River are a good reminder of the days when shovels and hoses did the resurfacing on rinks that were often fishing holes in summer.

To take advantage of 'good, old fashioned hockey', Captain Rick "Migsy" Migliore assembled a team to make the long trek to play the decidedly different game of 'pond hockey' with 140 other teams from across the nation.

After getting used to a game without boards or goalies, they quickly adapted their game and won their second outing. Overall, the Chaos went 1-2, but gained invaluable experience on their maiden voyage.

However, it was the 'off-ice' activities that made the whole trip worth the effort. Center, Brad Edwards, met Labatt President Glen Walter and the boys spent an evening attending a raucous game between two local teams at the local rink. Afterwards, they took in some cultural events in the Wisconsin countryside.

It was an exciting weekend of nonstop hockey action at the Carolina Coliseum, where a record twelve teams battled it out for supremacy of the ice in a grueling four-on-four IronMan tournament. In the end, the B Division was won by the Columbia Cyclones in a tight 2-1 game over the Goats, who were sporting their kick-ass new jerseys.

The deciding goal was scored on a penalty shot, but the Goats put tremendous pressure on the Cyclones in the closing seconds, even ringing one off the crossbar. It was an exciting finish to an exemplary game from both teams.

During the tournament, the Goats played better than ever. Scoring, which had been dismal at the last tournament, was way up and defensive play and goaltending were as strong as ever. It looks like the Goats are becoming a more well-rounded team and it will be interesting to seee how the team progresses after this tournament.

Chaos/Goats GM Niemi attends 2008 NHL All-Star Game

While there were plenty of celebrity sightings and hundreds of stars from the world of hockey, the biggest buzz of the NHL All-Star weekend in Atlanta came from an unlikely source--a South Carolina mens league GM.

Kristian "Da G-Mizzle" Niemi, co-owner and GM of the Columbia Chaos and their farm team, The Goats, was seen at the Versus All-Star After Party talking up NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman, as well as many of the NHL's top stars, including Scott Gomez and Brandon Dubinsky of the Rangers, Brian Campbell of the Sabres and Anaheim's Ryan Getzlaf. Sources close to Bettman deny that any of the league's superstars would sign with the handsome and charismatic mastermind behind the Chaos, but others at the party say Rick Nash of the Columbia Bluejackets could well be on his way to Columbia.

Nash, a first-round pick in the 2002 draft, recorded a hat trick in the All-Star Game and is tied for 10th in the league in goals. While he wouldn't comment as he left the party, insiders say that he's been looking for a change of venue and since Columbia sounds like Columbus, it would be an easy transition. What the Chaos/Goats organization has to offer is the biggest question.

At press time, the only tangible incentives for Nash to defect to the Chaos organization include a chance to play with the legendary mens league team and MAYBE some hot wings at Hooters or some other miserable bar. However, even with the offerings being that limited, Nash was overheard telling Niemi that he was definitely interested and they would talk again at the conclusion of the NHL '08 season. If the Bluejackets don't make the playoffs, Columbia Chaos fans could see Nash in a Chaos jersey for the summer mens league.

Goats Languish in Ironman Tournament

After a dominating 3-1 win in the first game of the Ironman Tournament, the Columbia Chaos' farm team, The Goats couldn't get their offense rolling enough to take any more wins, ending the tournament with an abysmal 1-2-2 record.

Heavily favored going into the grueling tournament, The Goats boasted a line-up of grizzled veterans from the summer "Augusta Series", including "Benny", "Migsy", Ed, Dave Mik%$%#$@, "Patty", Dave Hamilton and Kristian "G Miz". However, even with this powerhouse of a line-up, the Goats managed only 2.2 goals a game in offense. Defensively, The Goats proved to be more than up for the task, allowing only 2.2 goals per game, but the two ties hurt their playoff chances.

The highligh of the tournament was The Goats' 1-3 loss to the 'stacked' Greenville team. If not for a couple of key breakdowns in the defensive zone, the Goats skated the much more talented team hard and evenly.

Of The Goats performance overall, former Ranger and recent inductee to the Hockey Hall of Fame, Mark Messier, summed it up best:

"I remember this time when I was a kid and I watched my dog chase it's tail for hours. He never really understood it was connected to his ass. Where can I get a corndog?"

The Goats are not scheduled to play again until they get their shit together.

The Columbia Chaos hockey team is a tough-as-nails ragtag group of hockey assassins. Forged from twisted steel and sex appeal in the Spring of 2006, they are a farce to be reckoned with! Don Cherry, Hockey Night in Canada

The Columbia Chaos players are all bilingual; they speak English and profanity. Gordie Howe, Hall of Fame Player

Chaos hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. Doug Larson, NHL Player

They don't have enough talent to win on talent alone. Herb Brooks, Hall of Fame Coach

We're looking forward to building the kind of team the Chaos are able to buy with beer. Bobby Smith, NHL GM

They are the most un-athletic looking superstars. Mark Janssens, NHL Player

Hockey players have fire in their hearts and ice in their veins. Author Unknown

Chaos players have heartburn and ice in their drinks. Chaos Captain Rick Migliore

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The Chaos hockey team is a Local B/National C level team looking to have fun on and off the ice with like-minded teams around the Southeast. We are located in Columbia, South Carolina and have access to two great, single rink facilities. We're always looking for games, so let us know about tournaments in your area. To inquire about playing against the Columbia Chaos, contact us at 803-799-8463... ask for Kristian or e-mail us at kristian(at)columbiachaos(dot)com.